Help Me!

  Problems, problems, problems.... I've been trying to evade them for quite a while now. Somehow, I feel that the "ball of problemos" is going to burst anytime soon. I feel so torn up, & I'm scared to go back to that road again... =(


  Firstly, my housemates. They're like, getting worse day by day. From not doing ANY chores what-so-ever in the house, to the constant boycotts & backstabbing (particularly towards one). For one, I seriously DO NOT like their attitude that they are showing to me AT ALL~!!! They are good people, that I will not deny, but their ignorant, self-absorbed, snobbish, "princessie" (particularly one) characters are driving me nuts! ><  I feel like I'm Cinderella doing all the shitty house chores, while they just sit in front of their freakin' laptops ALL DAY! At least among the 3, one always helps me, while the other helps me once in a while. That "particular" one NEVER EVER helped me since the day they moved in! >< I know that you're rich & you never did any house chores back in your hometown, but please lah! This is MY PLACE, & NOT YOURS! I'm not saying that you have to do all the chores, just lend me a hand. Is that too much to ask for? =(

  Not only that, the duo in particular, are very very VERY JUDGMENTAL. Well, that's from my constant observations while hanging out with them everyday (do I even have a choice not to?!). I seriously do not understand why do they want to make false claims which are negative about others, & make conclusions out of them without having to analyze at all. It like, if someone says something wrong for only ONCE, they will sum up that person's character to be negative all the way. I mean, OH MY GOD! Have they even analyzed themselves???? Do they think that they're soooooo good & nice & sweet?? *pfuit!* Whatever lah! What I don't like is, they are judging me (well, can see it through their eyes) & I'm the one who took pity on them & let them stay at MY condo! >< *sigh* Or maybe I'm just thinking too much again..... I don't know. =\ I'm just really stressed because I have to be the "middleman" every time there's a misunderstanding going on between them.... & I'm totally sick of it! To make matters worse, just because I talk to one of the trio, doesn't mean that I'm secretly going against them or whatever. But somehow, I don't think that's the case, because I'm starting to feel that not only are they avoiding me, but my other friends around me as well. Like, WHAT THE HELL?!!!! ><"""" *sighs* I'm thinking too much again... Maybe. =S


  I need some help..... Please, if anyone can help me, I will be forever grateful. I don't wanna name any names because I do respect people's privacy. But, these problems have been going on for a while, & if I don't let out soon, I think I'll blow up! *screams*

  Well, that's all for now. Till then...


Signing off, 

 ~Stephanie~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Update+Stop Pulling Me!

  Hey peeps! I'm so sorry for not updating my blog frequently. I've been quite busy lately, & I just can't find the slightest time to update~~ =P


  Anyways...... Since I'm here now, I mind as well tell my whole story! *Pfuit* LIKE I DON'T! LOL~~~~ OK, seriously. I have so many things to tell you guys. Let me start from...... I'M FINALLY GETTING THE HANG OF DRIVING IN KL~!!! =D Well, that's because my mum is in KL now. She & the rest of my family came last Saturday because: 1. My dad's flying off to Indonesia to work *sobs*, & 2. My mum has some training here. Driving in KL is OK, until you meet those stupid arsehole drivers who are so darn inconsiderate & selfish~!! >.<"""" But overall, it was good. 


  The reason why I chose this title is because there's so many drama going on in my group of friends, especially my housemates. Man, I'm like the middleman right now. I seriously HATE this position! It was until the point where I had to ask my close friend/counselor/everything to help me~~ =S I don't want to be involved at all actually, but somehow both parties like want me to choose. *sigh* I don't want this at all. Tried staying neutral, just got worse (I think). I don't understand why do people have to be so judgmental. We are all humans. We WILL have our own flaws. But I think that this is going to far, because both parties are like telling me one another the opposition's bad traits. I mean, come on! These are just petty little stuff, plus they're so goddamn stubborn to open a bit & see the real person in each of them. As the middleman, I think that I'm the only one who know both parties points well. & as if that wasn't enough, they wanted me to pick sides. PICK SIDES MAN!!! & I think it's best that I stick to my friend's advice,"Steph, just act blur. Even if you know it, just ignore." =) *wink wink*


  I know that Paula was, is & will be "forever my girl". She's like, my idol since I was 4 years old! =) She will never EVER be replaced with any other people (well, except for my mum). But now, I'm starting to get another celeb addiction. That celeb is SARAH BRIGHTMAN! =D I'm so hooked up with her songs recently, especially "Phantom Of The Opera", "Symphony", "Fluer du Mal", "You & Me (2008 Beijing Olympics)", "Amigas Para Siempre (1992 Barcelona Olympics)", "Canto della Terra" & "Pasion". Plus, I'm so freakin' hooked up with the Gothic Opera movie that she starred in - "Repo! The Genetic Opera". The movie is very disturbing, I will not deny that. However, the storyline is the main reason why I love this movie, although I totally hate the eerie settings, goth theme & the disgusting graphics. It's like, it makes you wonder "why is this like this" & "why is that like that". It also makes you want to know the history & what made it led to this. Though the storyline is interesting, I can't help but to feel disappointed with the ending. I mean, why Blind Mag (Sarah Brightman) had to die? & why Amber Sweet (Paris Hilton.... UGH! *pukes*) had to become GeneCo's president? =( The songs in the movie are very addictive & nice, especially "Chase The Morning" (sung by Sarah Brightman & Alexa Vega featuring Sarah Power), "At The Opera Tonight" (sung by the whole cast) & "Zydrate Anatomy" (sung by the "Graverobber"). I really recommend this movie for those who love goth & musicals. =)


  Well, I guess that's all. Till then...


Signing off,
~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)


p/s: I don't have any photos to upload because I'm using the lab computer. =)

Update

  Hi hi~!! I'm so sorry for not updating for such a long time. I've been very busy with so many random stuff, but now I'M BACK Y'ALL! =)

  All I can say is "WOW!!!" for everything that has been happening around me lately. First off, I FINALLY GET TO PERFORM MY SOLO RUMBA IN THE BIGGEST EVENT IN THE HISTORY OF TELUK INTAN (& mine of course! xD)!!!!! All I can say is drama, drama & more drama. *sighs* I had to face my parents constant scolding because I had to go back to my hometown like, EVERY WEEK just for the grueling training from my super strict (but I still love her) instructor. They were really upset because they thought that I was neglecting my studies (again) for dancing. OH MY GOD! Has anyone heard of PASSION & DREAMS????? & has anyone heard of HOBBIES TO RELEASE STRESS????  I mean, I've been so stressed with my horrible living & studying status in KL. I NEED MY FIX~!!! & my fix is dancing~~~ I seriously do not understand why my parents just can't see that? Come on! I've been giving them obvious hints since I was 3++ years old for the past friggin' 16 years of my life! I love the stage. I love to inspire people. I love to perform because I don't only get to inspire people, but I can inspired & motivated by them as well. I don't think my parents will ever know the feeling of euphoria (maybe that's too strong of a word) when the crowd stands & claps for a good performance. However...... I think that all that has changed after they saw my performance with their own eyes during my teacher's Dinner & Dance party in SJK (C) Chong Min. I'm really glad that I can make then proud, & also my own teacher proud. All the audience were like asking my dad, "Is this your daughter?" & they also said, "She's a really good dancer." "She's the best one of the night. You should be proud of her." It wasn't only my dad & mum smiling from ear to ear hearing the audience's comments, my teacher was also in cloud nine when she received all the good reviews from them. They were like, "This student of yours is one heck of a talent." "She should further her dance hobby. Maybe take professional lessons in KL & become & world-class dancer." & etc etc. When they came to my & (highly & overly) praised my performance, all I could say was, "That is because I have THE best teacher for guidance & parents who supported me. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be this good. In fact, I don't think I've achieve greatness yet. I'm still on my way there." =)

  OK. Enough of my dance babble. Throughout this whole..... I don't even know how long (LOL!), I've found a nice guy who became my boyfriend. He's like, one of the sweetest ones EVER!!! I loved him so much, that is, until he hurt me so bad, I don't even know whether I can even FACE him right in the eye. Apparently, he has a dark secret. He is actually still in love with his ex, although it was her who dumped him. I was so shocked & hurt when I heard him tell me that I literally ignored him completely because I found out that he's actually totally & utterly confused with himself. *sad* *sighs* Well, life is like that. It's time to move on...... I seriously hope that he can find HIS self-actualization & not to look back to his past.

  Another thing is...... I FINALLY HAVE 3 NEW HOUSEMATES!!!! I'm finally not living in this big condo all alone & lonely anymore! =) It's good to have company, but sometimes I still wish that I can have some time to myself. Being constantly..... Er...... How to put this? Er.... "watched" by other people in my own house sometimes can be a tinnie bit frustrating. Especially when the 3 cannot actually get along with each other. Like I've said in my previous post, I found out that most of the Mass Comm students of the March '10 intake are very judgemental. I really wanna look that the good side of everyone, but somehow, one way or another, they will always try to upset me by manipulating me. In fact, to tell you the truth, I seriously do not like some of them, like honest-truth-cross-my heart-&-hope-to-die kind. They're so judgmental up to the point where they actually stomp that person's reputation. They're something like those old & married wives (no offense ya~~~) who just cannot stop "ge po"-ing ("ge po" means busy body). It is a total known fact for those who have known me all my life that I HATE & DESPISE these kind of people. There is one or two in particular who I actually really feel like strangling~~~~ YES! IT IS THAT BAD!!!! >.<

  *sighs* Anyway, I still have to get going with my life. I won't let these small humps & hiccups stop me from succeeding. I have to do whatever it takes if I want to achieve my completeness in life, & I intend to stick to that. =)

  That's all for now. Till then....

Signing off,

~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

p/s: Like the new pic? I took this in my dance outfit before going to the hall for my performance! =)

Paulatic! =D

  I'm in my college library now. Trying to do my Critical Thinking assignment, but I'm so lost! >.< I totally don't know what to write~!!! The essay title is too wide, which is "Human Being". What am I going to write about??? Ugh~~~~ >.<"""

  Anyways, I'm totally in the "Paula" mood all of a sudden. So..... I'm gonna post some Paula pics for y'all! =D ENJOY~!!!!!! xoxo

... & my ultimate favorite....

xD

  That's all for now. Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Killin' Me Softly

  I don't know why these few posts I've been using song titles as my "blog titles". Oh well, I guess I'm just in those "Shakespeare" modes.

  Anyway.... Went back to Teluk Intan during the weekends! It was awesome~~~~ =) I got to hang out with 2 of my besties in Sushi King. We ended up talking about random stuff for 2 hours! xD One of the craziest subject is about my relationship status. Why doesn't anyone believe that I'm single?!!!! >.<""" Ugh~~~~

  The next day, I went to watch "How To Train Your Dragon" with my family and besies in Big Cinema, Teluk Intan. Actually, it's my second time watching that movie. My first time was in 1 Utama. =) The cinema sucked! Throughout the whole movie, the screen kept on shaking. I felt damn dizzy after watching it! *sighs* But overall, we still had a wonderful time.

  Later that day, my family & I had our lunch at the Glutton Square. After that, we went to my granny's house to meet the newest addition of the family - Chan Jun Je. He's my aunt's son. Damn cute!!!! =3 We all were thinking about various baby names for him, & ended up having Jun Je (or JJ for short). He's so tiny, not to mention cute!Have I said that??? Oh Well, HE IS~!! =3 =3

  That night, I came back to Kelana Jaya with my aunt & uncle. Reached here about 8:45 pm. Then I tried to fix my internet router, but failed miserably! >.< So I called the technician to come & fix my router today. Hopefully I can have wireless over here by tomorrow~~~ *prays*

  Well, the reason why I typed "Killin' Me Softly" is because I feel like everything & everyone around me is like..... Ugh.... I don't know how to describe it. It's just so frustrating.... I seriously want my life drama to come to an end! I'm so sick & tired of being so insecure & trying to hide all my pain & sorrow to myself. These feelings (I'm not blaming anyone who's causing these emotions of mine to "arise" again) are eating me up once again.... I'm so scared that I'll become like I was in my secondary school years. This all happened after my assignment "crash" a few weeks ago.... WHAT AM I GONNA DO???????

  *sighs* =(

  Well, that's all for now. Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

True Colors

  I'm now in love with the song "True Colors" by the Glee cast. I can totally relate to that song. =) This song always reminds me not to quickly judge others, instead see their "beautiful" side. Hope you guys enjoy the lyrics to this song! xoxo

"True Colors"

(feat. Jenna Ushkowitz)

You with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged

Oh I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And the darkness inside you

Can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then

Don't be unhappy, can't remember

When I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

I see your true colors

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

Cant remember when I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors

See your true colors

Shining through

YEAH!

I can see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid

To let them show

Your true colors

True colors

True colors

Are Beautiful like the Rainbow

  That's all for now. Till then....

Signing off,

 

 ~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

p/s: I'm lazy to plug in my external hard drive. So I use this image instead~~~ Paula forever!!! <3 

Release

  This week is THE CRAZIEST WEEK EVER!!!! It's not a good week at all. That's because I just found out that everyone in my class is starting to show their stripes. & boy, they're not good AT ALL! =(

  I found out that most of them are very judgmental. The ironic thing is that I found that out after I watched the latest episode of Desperate Housewives the night before. I feel like I don't belong with them. I feel like I'm just being used for their advantage (as usual) again..... I'M TOTALLY SICK AND TIRED OF THE FIASCO~!!!! I want out!!!!! *cries*

  I don't understand why they are so judgmental.... I mean, everyone is different. Why do they want to critique someone else for their flaws??? Do they think that they're so perfect themselves? *sighs* I for one, know that I'M NOT PERFECT AT ALL.

  I believe that there's a good side in everyone. I know that you may call me nuts or naive. But that's my belief, & I'm totally entitled to give my opinion about it. For instance, some people they may have the looks of a gangster, but actually they're very caring & nice. The only thing that one must do is to be open-minded & be patient, because sometimes it might take a few days, or maybe weeks for the other to reveal they're "true self".

  I think I'm going to cry again~~~ I need my mum! ='(

  That's all for now. Till then....


p/s: this is just a series of rambles. I'm just so stressed up right now. Plus I'm using my laptop in the lecture hall, so I don't have my external hard drive with me.


Signing off,

~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Stupid Cupid

  If you're thinking it's a song title, think again. I'm just so upset & pissed off right now!


  I recently broke off with my current boyfriend, because I got to know that he wanted to be with me for the sake of showing off to his friends that he can lure "fierce" girls.So, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single". Actually, I wanted to put "it's complicated" because.... Well, IT IS! *sighs*

  "Why are guys that I'm not interested in attracted to me, while the guys who I'm interested are not?" That's what I've been thinking for the past few years. & recently, it has gotten even worse! There are like, 4 guys who I've chatted with (both online & face-to-face) giving hints to me that they're interested in me. But unfortunately for them, I'm NOT interested in them what-so-ever! This is so frustrating. I think that my cupid either just hates me or has an aiming problem, because the guys whom I've had crushes on (from one heart-ache to another) either have no interest in me or they're not available. *sighs*


  I'm not saying that the guys that I'm not interested are not handsome & all, but as a female, I prefer my relationships to have sparks in it. Plus, I want my relationship to be true & pure. I don't like guys who want me so that they can take advantage on me. No, scratch that. I HATE guys who want me so that they can take advantage of me! I hate guys who want me as their girlfriend for the sake of showing me off to their friends. That is so stupid, not to mention immature. 


  *sighs* I wonder when can I find my Prince Charming, my Mi Amor, my One-&-Only??? The one who can sweep me off of my feet?? I know that I'm very cheesy, but I can't help it. Which girl doesn't??


  *BIG SIGH*


  That's all for now. Till then....


Signing off,

~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)
 

15th April 2010

  Today is my cousin's 19th birthday! I'm so happy for him. My aunt took us to this fancy Japanese restaurant in a 5 star hotel to celebrate his birthday. All I can is that my meal alone costs more than RM 60.00! & I don't even want to know the total of the dinner. >.<

  Actually, I almost forgot that it's his birthday today. I'm such a bad cousin... But I managed to buy his present on time thanks to my good friend, Riyal who was so willing to put up with my whiny attitude to go present shopping with me. Thank you! ^^

  Classes today was OK. I have learned many things, & one of them is that I will never see any TV ads or music videos like normal people do from now onwards. That's because in the Principles of Advertising class, my lecturer taught the class on how to be observant about what images celebrities are trying to portray in their music video, what messages they want to convey to their audience & also who their target audience are. We learned all this by just watching 2 of Lady GaGa's music videos - "Poker Face" & "Bad Romance", plus a new movie trailer (but I forgot the name... =P).

  Today's Performing Arts class was great as usual. Lovies to all the seniors who are teaching me & my friends the "Jai-Ho" dance routine. However, my leg injury which hasn't recover became worse right now. & I know it's not their fault. It's my stubborn attitude of not giving dancing a one-day break. But I just can't help it! Dancing is air to me. I need it to "breathe"... =)

  I was also very worried throughout the day today. That's because one of my friend was sent to the hospital twice because she was suspected to have the H1N1 influenza, since her fever didn't subside & she was physically drained out. Luckily, it was a negative. WHEW~~~~

  Finally, I had another very emotional phone conversation with my mum not long ago. We were just talking about the computer router & some other random stuff (or more like problems) when she & I started to have a little "Voice- raising competition". After that, she threw me ultimate weapon on me - Money. That's when reality hit me like a ton of rocks, & I started sobbing. I seriously hate to be accused for something I didn't do, & this is one of them. I felt like I was being accused for spending money like water since my arrival in KL. The truth is, I'm trying so Goddamn hard to save every penny that I can. The problem is, the prices of EVERYTHING here are darn expensive! No matter how much I calculate & save, I tend to use more than I save. Most of the money I spent on are on food (breakfast, lunch & dinner). & in one day alone, I can use up to RM50.00 just for 3 meals. That's a whole lot of money! >.< Plus with the guilt that I'm feeling when I go to college because my parents don't want me to take the loan. I really don't like to squeeze my parents' pockets. But they won't let me work, nor let me take a loan. Plus, my mum told me to take it easy in my studies, because she doesn't want the "incident" in Form 5 to happen to me again. She knows that I get stressed up very easily & when I'm stressed, I'll do crazy stuff (not good). She told me not to force myself to get the 3.0 CGPA, instead just pass the exams. She said that the scholarship is not that important. These stuff she told me really made me feel more guilty than ever! My course is not cheap at all, plus my living cost here. It's total hell! *sighs* Typing these stuff really makes me wanna cry again.... *sobs*

  I had better stop now. I need to clear my mind & get some sleep as well, because I have classes tomorrow.

  That's all for now. Till then....

Signing off,

 ~Steph~
(they girl y'all never expected to be...)

Blogs

   It's been such a long time since I've written a proper blog (exclude the ones from Formsprings.me). I have so many things to type, but I don't know where to start!!!! xD

   Oh OK~~~ Let's start with..... I'M FINALLY IN COLLEGE! =D My parents finally gave me the green light to leave my Form 6 & go study in college! =) I'm now in my freshman year for my Diploma in Mass Communication. *smug*  Loving every bit of it. Made new friends there, & we are now called as "The Manganz" (actually, I dunno what does "Mangan" mean. My friend Sam just started saying that word & we've got stuck to it ever since. LOL~~).

  I've got one thing to say though. I'm totally out of my comfort zone over here. For the past 9 years of my life, I was a total Science geek (not a good one, I may add). All the subjects that I've learned are based on factual statements, experiments, calculations, & guided theories. In Mass Communication, it's a whole new & different league for me. I have to constantly think out of the box, not to mention be insanely creative (thinking-wise). This has shown how little I know about "the real" Mass Communication. I know that Mass Communication requires a good hand in language, besides being talkative. What I didn't know about Mass Comm is that I have to learn a hell lot of other stuff like I.T., Principles of Advertising etc.. All this time, I knew that I was a misfit in the "Science Clan", because my friends there are so studious, not to mention super geniuses. & they're also very quiet, which I'm kind of the odd one out here. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. I love to express my feelings externally, while my friends prefer to just keep it to themselves. I love Andrew Lloyd Weber & Steven Spielberg , but they love Einstein & Stephen Hawkins. We're like from two different planets. In addition, I NEVER EVER liked Science & Maths since I could remember. They're my arch nemesis. I always excel in my languages, but my friends excel in "the otherwise".

  I guess that's why my mum always encouraged me to take up Mass Comm or English Literature, since she's not a big fan of me pursuing my childhood dream - Performing Arts. She always told me to make that as a minor instead of a major because I can get a steady qualification for the "working world". I totally admit that after my SPM exam, I was actually contemplating whether to continue the stream which I've always taken or to take a leap of faith & switch it to my favorite Arts stream. But my "ego" got the best of me, plus my fear of change (or kainotophobia) that struck me to make a very hassle decision to accept the offer to Form 6. Before I entered, I consulted with my cousin who had experienced life in Form 6. To my surprise, she actually switched her stream when she was in there. So I thought, "That's not a bad idea. I can go for the Arts stream & save my parents money at the same time. I can also make my family proud since Form 6 is one of the most recognized Pre-University courses in the world." 

  To my utter disappointment, the school that I was put to didn't let me change my stream. To make things even worse, I FAILED in my finals there because I couldn't catch up with the advanced Biology, Maths T & Chemistry studies. Out of the 5 subjects in that course, I only managed to score 2. & I'm sure you guys know what they are. But for those who don't, they're my MUET (Malaysian University English Test) & Pengajian Am (General Studies). Both are languages & both don't require intellectual thinking.  

  After a long "Battle of The Education" with my whole family (yes, my parents are NOT the only ones who opposed my decision to leave Form 6 for college), I couldn't take it anymore. So, I took this matter in my own hands. I submitted a letter to the principal stating that I was going to discontinue my course there without anyone in my family knowing anything about it. When they found out what I've done, it was already too late. My name was already taken out from the school system & I was required to leave after 3 weeks. All my posts in my school clubs & societies were revoked & an emergency meeting was held to choose the new president for the English Society, secretary for the KRS & Blue Team, lead soprano for the Choir team, & also the treasurer for the PRS. 

  

  At first, they were furious. I'm totally serious!!! I had THE WORST Chinese New Year of my life this year because I was being the so-called "hot topic" in the family. & the news spread to my school. I was like a mini-celebrity during that time, but not in a good way. I was being bombarded question after question. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. It wasn't pretty at all. But I always told myself, "If you want something so badly, you have to carry all the bad that comes along with it. Life's not a rainbow. Every famous people had gone through all kinds of bad in their life in order to achieve what they want.". So, I persevered. That was actually the first time in my whole 18 years of life that I took something I want so seriously that I was willing to fight till I died to get it. I fought countless battles in my life, but all of them were only half-hearted. That's when my parents started to open their eyes & realized that I didn't just wanted for the sake of wanting it, but I wanted it because I wanted to achieve something in my "life-list", which is to make my 15 year-old dream become a reality. 

  Since I was 4 years old, all I ever wanted to do was perform to an audience. Most people will use the term "arrogant" or "snobbish" for what I'm going to say, but for the record, I'm not & will never be. I love it when I can capture people's attention when I perform. I love to make them smile & "WOW" them whenever I can. I wanted to be the next Paula Abdul, who is my idol for the past 15 years! =) I want to achieve my dream because it makes me happy, & I believe that happiness is one of the key ingredients to a meaningful life.

  So here I am now, in KDU college, taking my Diploma. I'm going to continue my fight to reach the top so that I can achieve my ultimate happiness. I'm going to work my bum off even though I have to learn certain subjects from zero, so that I can get a scholarship for my Degree. =)

  Well, that's all for now. Till then....

 (The "Manganz")

(In Burger King)

(In our KDU T-shirts)

(My "sistas")

Signing off,

 

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be....)

Random Post Number 4

Hey guys!

This is totally a random post. I just want to post for fun! =P I don't know why, but I just felt like posting one right now! In the middle of the night~!!! xD

Well, to start off, today was my school sports day. I had an OK time, mostly because I had lots & lots of free food! xD But when I woke up this morning, I was totally reluctant to go to school, period! That's because, the night before.... Something happened..... *sighs*

I received an e-mail from one of the counselors of KDU that I spoke to a few days before. My dad suggested KDU over Taylor's because my family cannot afford Taylor's at all. & the American Degree Program in KDU is half the price compared to Taylor's, in which I'm totally glad of! =)

Anyway, I inquire about whether they have loans & scholarships for 2008 SPM leavers like me. & they said that they have. But one problem, they DON'T have the PTPTN loan for the program that I'm about to take! >.<>.<>now. & last night, I couldn't control my emotions any longer so I cried myself to sleep.... =( & what's worse, I haven't said a word to my parents about the devastating news yet! I know that my dad's gonna kill me when he finds out~~~ =( What am I gonna do?!!!! *sighs* Well, that's all for now..... Till then...

Signing off,










~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

p/s: Like the new pic? New year, new pic again.

-Back-

(Warning: To those of you who don't like my blabbering, please stop reading NOW!!! Or forever hold your peace... xD)






It's been a while since I posted anything on my blog, but I'm finally back peeps! =)

Actually, to tell you guys the truth, there has been a lot of things that had happen these few months. I just don't know how to express them in words anymore.... & I don't know why..... *sighs*

Maybe my mum's right. I AM starting to slack in my English. Even right now, sitting in front of my laptop, typing away. I'm still lost for words..... =(

I've decided to stop using italics because some of my friends said that it's so hard to read 'em. So, I'm gonna stick to normal fonts from now on....

I think I'm gonna start of with..... I'M FINALLY LEAVING FORM 6 BABY!!!! =D I've been dreaming of this since my ultimate failure in my last year's finals. All the while, I knew that I never EVER wanted to continue with Science, because somehow I feel that Science & me do not go along. Science students are so intellectual, & I'm totally out of that list. Besides that, they're naturally born to be smart, while me..... I have to work my ASS off just to pass the exams! >.<>people hate me or criticize me. I tend to cry or throw tantrums when I'm in a bloody mood. I tend to subconsciously babble, in which my acquaintances who do not know me well will either think that I'm high or drunk. I always get mood-swings like a pregnant woman (although I'm not pregnant =P). I'm a girl in which can be described in a Cyndi Lauper song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". I am a total DRAMA QUEEN. I'll act very "diva-ish" when I don't get something that I want.... & etc etc. I'm also very into music. My mum said to me once,"Chye Lyng (that's what she calls me since I was young... =D), you really have the Filipino blood in you. We Filipinos are very artistic people." Maybe that's why I can NEVER be as close to my dad's side of the family as I do with my mum's side. I love both of my families. But for my dad's side (no offense), it's platonic love to them. A total opposite to my mum's side. Although I don't get to see them very often, but somehow I'm more.... how to say??? Erm... In Malay, it's called "kamching". I'm more "kamching" with them. =) However, my mum always wanted me & my brothers to follow my dad's side of the family. There are so many reasons to it. One: my cousins from my mum's side tend to get "wild". Example: when there's a function or a party, they tend to get so excited up to the point where a normal person will call them as "gone crazy". To tell you the truth, I'm a wild child myself. I tend to get all crazy if there's a party (especially if there is dancing). My dad's side of the family (no offense again), are kinda "boring" to me. It's very obvious to see during the Chinese New Year & Christmas. Yes, I love Chinese New Year, but only for the money. Not the fun, not the celebration. Christmas on the other hand..... OH YEAH BABY!!!!!!!! =D I'll be like," I'm ready to get down & dirty~!!!" =P & "Let's get this party started!!!" & then I'll shake what my momma gave me!!! =D OK OK, I'm blabbering again. I know that very well. But I just wanna get this off my chest before Chinese New Year. I'm just typing what my mind is thinking right now. & it's thinking a lot of things at once, but the clearest one is this. So, I mind as well get it off. =) There's actually more. But I just wanna stop right now. I'll continue when I can form complete sentences in my head to type it out here. Bye!!! =)