Goodnight My Love

I just listened to one of Paula Abdul's song "Goodnight My Love". It's so cool~!!! I want to thank my friend PaulaFanxxx1 for uploading it on You Tube. Here are the lyrics to the song. Enjoy~!!!:

Goodnight,my love
Goodnight, my love

Goodnight, my love
Pleasant dreams and sleep tight, my love
May tomorrow be sunny and bright
And bring you closer to me

Before you go
There's just one thing I want to know
Is you love still warm for me
Or has it gone cold?

If you should awake
In the still of the night
Please have no fears
I'll be there
You know I care
Please give your love to me, dear

Goodnight, my love
Pleasant dreams and sleep tight, my love
May tomorrow be sunny and bright
And bring you closer to me

Goodnight,my love (ect.)

Till then...

Signing off,








~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Desktop Computer~~

Yay~!! My desktop computer is finally back! I'm so happy~!! Well, not that I don't like my laptop, but my laptop speed is so slow, & it has a lot of problems~~ *sighs*

Anyway, I'm now typing from my desktop computer.Just love it love it love it~!! & my Twitter has come back to normal~!! Yeah baby~!! =D

Well, that's all for now. I just want to inform that I'm using my desktop computer from now on, so I might not be able to update as frequently as I did when I used my laptop. So... Ciao~!!

Till then...

Signing off,









~Steph~
(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Oh Twitter~!!

For all you guys who have Twitter accounts, I'm here to inform you that I have changed my username. Before that, my username was "Dancegurl91". But now, it's "StephyLuvsPJA". Well, you all know why did I chose that particular username~~ *waggling eyebrows* =)

*sighs* I don't know what is wrong with my Twitter account. It's been bugging me lately. I have to refresh it several times just to send a tweet. Not just that~~ The worst one is, some of my friends can't receive my tweets~!! x( It's so maddening~!!! Plus my tweets to Paula also did not appear in her page~~ Does anyone know how I can contact Twitter or report this matter to them?? PLEASE~!!! I really need help here~!! x(

*sobbing*.....

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Random Post Number 3

This morning, I went for my choir practice. I was being offered by the music teacher, Madam TZ (wanna keep her identity a secret. For those who know her~~ Well.... Umm....)....

Anyway, I went for the practice. Now, I'm having the WORST sore throat EVER~!! x( Apparently, I'm being chosen to be the lead soprano singer in the team. At first, I thought "OK, that's so cool!". But then, I got excited too soon~~ Madam TZ is CRAZY~!!!! That's all I can say about her~~ x( I know that she expects me to be better than the others, but I haven't sing the "real" soprano voice for like, 6 years already~!!! But fortunately, I still got it in me. Then, the unthinkable happened. She now wants me to do a solo part in the choir~!! Oh my God~!!! I'm so frustrated right now~~ x( *sighs* But then I realized that being frustrated about this won't brig me anywhere. So, I mind as well let it happen~~

Just listened to one of Paula Abdul's song on You Tube. It's called "High School Crush". I love Paula sooooooo much~!! She's the BOMB~!!! =) Now listening to Ronan Keating's "She Believes (In Me)". This song is so cool~!! Love it love it love it~!!!! =)

Here are the lyrics to Paula Abdul's "High School Crush" & Ronan Keating's "She Believes (In Me)". Enjoy~!! :

"High School Crush"

Look out my window
Rain comin' down

Waitin' at the corner
Kids all wearin' their frowns
Just another Monday
Goin' to school
Till you come along
Kickin' your heels
Lookin' my way- makin' me feel real

You made me blush...
You were my high school crush...(ahhhhh)

Billy got married
Lizzy left town
Barrie went to New York City
She's dancin' around
You went off to college to conquer the word
I stayed home
Thinkin' 'bout you
Now you're back, what am I gonna do?

You made me blush...
You were my high school crush...(ahhhhh)

Now give me back my dream

Ooh, how the tables turned
I see your eyes
And I feel the burn

One thing I know for sure
They'll never find a cure

For what I got for you
My love is true

Now you're back
Kickin' your heels
Lookin' my way- makin' me feel real

You made me blush
But that was high school (yea)

I loved you so much
But time is changing all the rules

Enough is enough
This ain't no high school crush
This time now I'm ready to be with you
This ain' no high school crush

"She Believes (In Me)"

While she lays sleeping
I stay out late at night and play my songs
And sometimes all the nights can be so long
And it’s good when I finally make it home
All alone
While she lays dreaming
I touch her face across the silver light
I see her dreams that drift up to the sky
And she wakes up to my kiss
And I say it’s alright
And I hold her tight
And she believes in me
I’ll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday
If she was my girl, I could change the world
With my songs,
But I was wrong
But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray, I will find away, find away
While she lays waiting
I ask myself why do I hurt her so
What calls me on along this lonely road
Why don’t I turn around and head back home
Where I belong
While she lays crying
For she knows how my heart is ripped in two
I’m tom between the things that I should do
She deserves it all and I’d give it if I could
God, her love is true
[Chorus]
While she lays sleeping
While she lays sleeping for me

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

In My Daughter's Eyes

My eyes are red and puffy now. I just caught my mum tearing up to the song "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride that was playing on the radio not long ago. I love her very very much~!! & I always will~~ She's my best friend, my shoulder to cry on whenever I'm sad, my guardian angel, my hero...~~ Here's the lyrics to the song. It's very touching~~ Enjoy! =)

In My Daughter's Eyes - Martina McBride

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe

In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy

she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

First 3 Days of School

Well, as you all know, school had begun 3 days ago. Today is already Thursday, & tomorrow will be Friday. Then, Monday will be another holiday again because of the Muslim prayers (something something... =p).

Actually, my first day returning to school was a bittersweet experience. I dreaded going to school on that particular day because for one, I was still not feeling well, & two, IT WAS THE DAY OF THE CHEMISTRY TEST~!!! Oh my GOD~!!!! x(

I tried all sorts of ways to prevent myself from getting ready to go to school. But, my mum knew better. She kept on insisting that it would be fine & if anything had happened, I could call her to pick me up. YEAH RIGHT~!! *pfuit...* I tried to call her during recess because my stomach was going against me ( I really didn't know why...), & you know what was her answer?? "I'll pick you up by 12.30 pm, along with Ian (my brother)."~~ Like, WHAT~!!! The Chemistry test was at 11.50 am~!!! I was so mad & frustrated, but then I got over it. There's no use whining & making a fool out of myself anyways. So, I mind as well face it~~

& boy, am I glad now that I did~!! I did went through the test. & to my surprise, the teacher announced our marks today. I PASSED~!! Well, not those high marks, but I got 50 out of 100~!! Woot woot~!!! Although I was the lowest one in my class, but if I compared my scores with the Physics class, I'm still not the lowest, because in the Physics class (according to my teacher), there were a few who failed~ FAILED~!!! But I still feel sorry for them though~~

Anyway, yesterday I had THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE~!!! I never, ever once thought that any teachers or even my parents would be interested in seeing me "babbling" about my life here... But then Mr Oh, my MUET teacher told me yesterday that he saw this blog page of mine~!! Oh my God~!!! I have to be very careful now....... YEAH RIGHT~!!! XD *laughing hysterically*

I am not going to stop "babbling" about anything that's going on around me now, because I simply love it~!! Expressing my every feeling in words keeps my sanity & it's very very therapeutic~~ =)

So, that's all for now.... =)

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

PAULATIC~!!! number 2

So, since I cannot tweet Paula anymore, I mind as well comfort myself by posting some of her pictures here. *sighs* I really do not understand why my tweets won't appear on her page~~ =( I think I'm gonna cry~~ ='(

Luv you Paula~~~ <3333333333

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Independence Day

Well, today is the 31st of August. It's my beloved country's 52 years of independence day. Though, this year is very different from the other years because this year, there's no countdown & big parades & all that festivity stuff. That's because our country is in the "red zone" of the H1N1 (Swine flu) virus~ *sighs* (=.=)

So, how did my family celebrated our Independence Day? Well, the night before, we all sat in the TV room & watched a patriotic movie. Not sure what the title is though~~ Haha~~ =D Then this morning, we had breakfast in a Chinese "Kopitiam". It's been a while since I've been to those kind of places. To long, actually~~ =) After that, we went to the local wet-market & helped my mum with her groceries. Although I must say, this will be my first & last time I'll ever go to this kind of place AGAIN~!!! (>.<)

Then, I went to my local hairstylist & pampered myself. Had a hair treatment & a trim. I love my hairstylist. She's the coolest~!! =)

Now, I'm in my room, trying to study for my Chemistry quiz tomorrow. Damn I hate Form 6~!! I really don't want to continue Science~!! I feel as though I'm gonna cry at any second now! AAAAARGH~~~!!!! x( Why am I being cursed to go for Science stream~?!!!

& today I just found out that none of my tweets to Paula have reached her page. I really wonder why~~ Why, why, WHY~!!! I'm so sad, angry, disappointed, disorientated~~ GAH~~ I don't know anymore~!!! I'm just really, really upset right now~~ Damn I hate it when I have to go to school tomorrow. I'll always feel like this - like shit~~ =(

Oh well... Mind as well go back to studying... Although, I know that NOTHING will get into my head, AT ALL~!!! *sighs*

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Happy Birthday MJ

I just remembered. Yesterday was the late Michael Jackson's birthday. I just wanna wish the King of Pop Happy Birthday and may you rest in peace. You will always & forever be remembered by all of us devoted fans~ =(

My all-time favorite MJ song was, is and will be Black Or White~ & for those who don't know the lyrics to that song, here it is. So, enjoy! :

Black Or White lyrics

I Took My Baby

On A Saturday Bang
Boy Is That Girl With You
Yes We're One And The Same

Now I Believe In Miracles
And A Miracle

Has Happened Tonight

But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Baby

It Don't Matter If You're

Black Or White

They Print My Message
In The Saturday Sun
I Had To Tell Them

I Ain't Second To None

And I Told About Equality
An It's True
Either You're Wrong

Or You're Right

But, If

You're Thinkin'

About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White

I Am Tired Of This Devil
I Am Tired Of This Stuff

I Am Tired Of This Business
Sew When The
Going Gets Rough

I Ain't Scared Of
Your Brother
I Ain't Scared Of No Sheets

I Ain't Scare Of Nobody
Girl When The

Goin' Gets Mean

[L. T. B. Rap Performance]

Protection
For Gangs, Clubs

And Nations
Causing Grief In

Human Relations
It's A Turf War

On A Global Scale
I'd Rather Hear Both Sides
Of The Tale
See, It's Not About Races

Just Places
Faces
Where Your Blood
Comes From
Is Where Your Space Is

I've Seen The Bright
Get Duller
I'm Not Going To Spend
My Life Being A Color

[Michael]
Don't Tell Me You Agree With Me

When I Saw You Kicking Dirt In My Eye

But, If
You're Thinkin' About My Baby

It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of
Being My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of

Being My Brother
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White

Ooh, Ooh
Yea, Yea, Yea Now
Ooh, Ooh

Yea, Yea, Yea Now

It's Black, It's White
It's Tough For You

To Get By
It's Black , It's White, Whoo

It's Black, It's White
It's Tough For You
To Get By
It's Black , It's White, Whoo

You are not alone, Michael~~ We will always be there for you!! MJ forever~!!!! <3333333

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

PAULATIC~!!!

OK, so you guys know that I'm a Paula fan right? So now I'm just gonna go completely nuts & post some Paula pics here~!!! I love love love her so freakin' much~!!!! <33333333

Goddess with a heart of gold~!!! Love ya P~!!!

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Bloggers...!!!

So I was checking my page again for any updates, & I must say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH~!! For viewing, commenting, & subscribing to it~!!

So, I checked out Janine's blog (@xoxojanine) just now. Man, it was hilarious~!! Especially her previous posts about Paula~!!! All I can say is, Oh My God~!!!

& I've also found out a lot of fact about P which I never knew before, like the last book that she read. But, about her favorite color... I don't know if red & black are the correct answers. I'm not criticizing of anything. It's just that I personally tweeted that question to her, & her answer was Lavender.... So.... Weird.... Hurm.... =|

Anyways, I still love her blog~!!! You guys should check it out~!!! It's totally AWESOME~!!!! http://janineluies23.blogspot.com/

OK... So that's all for now... Thanks again for all the comments & the reviews & the subscriptions!! Luv y'all~!!!

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Toaster Waffles

Ever wondered why toaster waffles are called, well, toaster waffles?? I was just asking that question to myself today. That's because for all I know, I never toasted my waffles before. Sure, they are frozen when I take them out of the refrigerator. But then, I'll put them in the microwave instead, although I have a toaster too~ But never even once have I tried toasting a waffle. Maybe I should...

So.... Hurm.... =|

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Personal Diaries

Before I discovered Blogspot, I used to have my very own personal diary. I kept it private because I felt like it contains too many untold secrets about myself. Now only then I realize how stupid I was at that time. I'm an extrovert, & therefore I'm not good at hiding any emotions that I'm feeling. So, I've decided to share one of my entries to you guys, mainly to my friend Katryna (a.k.a @sweet19). I hope you're reading this Katryna, because I know what you're going through right now~~ Well, more or less... =D

14th October 2008, 12.50 pm, History period (yes, I do bring my diary to school~~)

Cikgu Alias has gone out for a while. He wants to take more questions for us.

Despite most of my grades that I'm very impressed, I still feel that I'm not even close to my goal yet. At the same time, I'm also very scared that I cannot maintain my result for my real SPM exam. To make things worse, I've only got 29 days to recall and to re-read 2 years and 10 subjects of knowledge! just 29 days~!!! That's not even close to 1 month!!!

"Am I crazy?" That would be my everyday ask-myself question. I tend to throw childish tantrums, have mood-swings, sometimes thinking about too many unnecessary stuff and many other weird habits. Do I count as a nut person? I will really not know. At first, I thought that Dr. Lau from the Ipoh Specialists Centre gave me the Amytriptalline (sp.) pills to ease the pain on my left hand. But when I showed the blue pills to Dr Lim & Dr. Lee (my family doctors), both of them said the same thing: my so-called "painkillers" were actually anti-depressant pills! ANTI-DEPRESSANT PILLS!!! I was so shocked at that time. But then, I found out that those pills have really helped me to relax, not to hallucinate and not to imagine weird things and also stopped my weird habits. The pills have also helped me to sleep well and they stopped my midnight nightmares.

However, I've finished the pills a few days ago. The first few days (maybe about 3 days) I was feeling fine. But now...

I'm so scared that I want to cry! But I cannot cry. I don't want Mum to find out. I also don't want my friends to think that I'm a freak. But, I think that I can't hide it any longer. Actually, I barely had any sleep for the last 2 days because of the "nightmares". The weird things is, I can't remember any of those nightmares. I just know that I'll just wake up with my heart pounding so fast that I cannot fall back to sleep.

I just wanna go home now, but it's only 1.40 pm. Another 10 minutes of hell!!!

& I don't know why, but I'm starting to hate EVERYONE, including my best friends, who came close to me. I think my depressed feelings are starting to come back. I'm so scared that I cannot control it any longer... What's wrong with me?!!! Why am I feeling like this?!!! Am I going nuts?!!! Oh God!!! Please release me from this curse I'm in~!!!

I've tried to talk to Mum about it. However, she just told me that my anxiety and panic attacks are coming back. She said that it's because of my upcoming SPM exam, & it will wear off after it's over. When Iasked her whether I need medications, like anti-depressant pills, she just said, "I know you're not crazy. You're just very immature in thinking. So grow up!". She also said that it's all mind over matter. But, I don't think that I can take this any longer... I feel like I'm losing control over myself. Oh what am I going to do?!!!

OK~ So that's one of my entries. It sounds like I'm a nut-job. But then it turns out that I'm just having a down moment. That's because I'm so caught up &worried about my exams & my other activities (note that I had many high positions in many clubs & societies). So, now that I know that writing diaries make me feel even worse, I stopped it. Instead, I turned to Blogspot now. That because I know that I can tell everyone what I'm feeling & I can get help from you guys & I don't have to go nuts & be secretive anymore. Now I'm a very carefree person~!! =D

So, that's all for now. Ciao~!!

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

National Service, & Random Post Number 3

So, today I tried another 2 more different types of Twitter applications. Mainly, Seesmic & Twhirl. However, they're just not as good compared to the main Twitter website. So... Hurm.... =|

I don't know what is wrong with me today, but I suddenly had the urge to read one of my ex-National Service friend's blog. His name is Eugene. As I was reading his blog entitled "This Is My Story", I stumbled upon one of of his posts. The title is 17/06/09. It's actually talking about his life for the past 6 months. I almost teared up because towards the end of his blog, he mentioned my name (twice to be exact) & he said that he misses his National Service friends very much~ So, I'm gonna make an effort here to also say: I miss my National Service friends too~!! Mainly, Eugene, Joey, Nicole, Max, Jin, Jothy, Pavi, Viki, Vini & all my other "dancemates"~!!! *sobbing* =(

However, I have to point out too that I do not miss most of the things in National Service. The main one is the TKJ (Tmbalan Ketua Jurulatih, or Vice Head of Coach for English). After the "sexual harassment" that has happened to me there, I never EVER want to see him EVER again for as long as I live~!! x(

*sighs* I'm babbling again, I know. So, I'm gonna stop now.

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)

Random Post Number 2

Ugh... I hate it when I can't do any of my favorite activities. I'm still on the bed. Mum threatened to take away my laptop if I don't get some rest. But I told her that I need something that can keep me entertained, since I can't gather enough strength to get up and play my keyboard or sing or even do some homework~ She gave in, but she gave me time limit to use my laptop. So here I am now typing away...

Tweetdeck is being nuts on me again. So I decided to uninstall it. One of my Twitter friend (@kazwan) suggested that I download Seesmic, a new Twitter application. So, I went to the website & tried to download it. Unfortunately, my laptop won't let it download. I really don't know why~ So now I'm stuck using the slow Twitter website instead. =(

Sent another tweet to Paula Abdul (@PaulaAbdul) just now, just wishing her Happy Friday. Although, technically it's already Saturday in Malaysia because it's past midnight. But over there is still Friday, so it's OK. =)

Another 2 more days before school begins again. I really hate it, because on the first day of school, there will the dreadful Chemistry quiz... Ugh~~ I feel like I'm gonna puke any second now just thinking about it. x(

I really, truly thought that I could have fun during this one week-holiday. But, it seems that my holidays have been spent in & out of the doctor's office, taking meds & just laying on the bed. *sighs* The doctor said that I don't have H1N1 (or Swine flu), but I have another kind of viral infection, similar to the one I got when I was kicked back home from National Service. But fortunately, I recovering now. & I feel a whole lot better compared to the beginning of the week. =)

I really hope that Paula would reply my tweet. It will probably make me feel 100 times better, & maybe I can just get out of bed because of her tweet~

Oh my God~ I really hate these meds! They're making me feel so out of place~!! I know that it will be another "light year" before I can see another Paula-response tweet on my page again. So don't get your hopes high Steph~!! It will not happen any time soon~!!! x( [that was just me talking to myself, telling myself to snap out of it]

Now only then I realize that my followers on Twitter have decreased so much. The last time I checked, I knew that I had almost 2000 followers, now I'm only left with 1549 followers. That's totally weird... But whatever, I don't care about my followers anymore. I just care for my usual friends online, mainly Katryna (@sweet19), Janine (@xoxojanine), Lauren (@paulaabdulfan), Cattleya Ayu (@holloglam), Vivien (@imvivienho1), Sarah (@The_SmartOne), Jen (@JenJenXoXo) & many many more (sorry because there are too many names, I can't remember them all. But I still luv all my Twitter friends... <3333).

Wow, & now also that I realize that I've tweeted more than 7000 times~!! Oh my God~!! I'm a total Twitter-holic~!! xD Thus, I can conclude that using the main Twitter page is much much better, although I have to constantly refresh my page to check my responses. =)

Right now, I'm just listening to some of Paula's songs. Then maybe I'm gonna go to bed. I don't know.... We'll see how the situation is~~ =)

Till then...

Signing off,

~Steph~

(the girl y'all never expected to be...)